Forbidden Tears
by Kute Kit Kat
Summary: She was doing it to feel better but she was really hurting herself, but who will show up and help her? one-shot, summary's not very good but please R&R. WARNING:contains cutting also not sure on the rating(hope it's right)


**A.N.- This isn't going to be long, just a one-shot. There are two poems in here and the beginning of each will be marked with this thing . Ok on to the story!**

As she sat on the windowsill looking out at the vast lawns her hand fondled a small sharp blade. She was in a deep recess of her mind where nobody could see what see was thinking. As she held back a string of tears that stung her eyes she looked down at the blade and placed it gently on her thigh. Her eyes drifted close and the blade sunk deep into her skin, and with an upward movement the blade was taken out of the now two inch long cut.

_As it runs down your skin_

A small sigh came from the girl as she opened her eyes to see the stream of blood that flowed down her leg. She slipped back into her mind and just stared off into space. Slowly a puddle was forming on the floor around her foot.

_You can't help but feel,_

Hermione didn't hear the door open or the footsteps as someone came closer.

"What the fuck!" Someone yelled and made Hermione take a crash landing on Earth. In a panic she tried to cover up her leg and all the blood while tucking the blade out of view. But it was too late they had already seen everything.

_Feel that it's your tear_

Hermione looked up and saw a shadow of a person standing in the middle of the empty classroom. She strained her eyes to try and make the image come in clearer, but she still couldn't tell who it was.

"Who's there?" Her voice came out shaky and scared, and her breathing became faster and faster until she was on the brink of hyperventilating.

_Your crying is brutal,_

"What the fuck do you think your doing?" The voice was eerily calm, but stern. Footsteps could be herd as the figure approached.

"I…I wasn't doing anything. Who are you?" Hermione was trying to convince herself that this wasn't happening and that she was just having another nightmare. But there was a little voice in the back of her mind that said that this was happening and she had been caught in the act.

_And kept to yourself._

"You call mutilating yourself nothing?" The figure was taking slow steady steps but still Hermione couldn't make out who it was. "I would call it something."

"Well it's really none of your business what I do," her voice rang with confidence that she didn't feel, "and why are you out of bed in the middle of the night?" She hoped that this person would get the hint that they weren't wanted and leave, while never speaking of this again. But she just wasn't having a very lucky night.

_Never once thinking twice_

By this time the person was just outside the pool of moonlight that streamed in from the window. "You're right, it isn't any of my business but I'm making it my business. And if you don't want everyone to know what you're up to you'll tell me why you're doing this to yourself."

Hermione was stunned, how could anyone be so cruel? Would he really tell people what she was doing or was he bluffing? She wanted to believe that he was lying but the tone of his voice made her highly doubt that he was lying to her.

_It's forbidden_

In a quivering, scared, little voice Hermione asked him the question that was at the top of the list. "Who are you?" Just as this came out of her mouth the figure took a step into the light and she could finally see who it was.

Hermione's voice caught in her throat as she felt her world come crashing down on her. "Malfoy? But…but-"

_Yet it feels so right._

"Don't change the subject. Why are you doing this?" His voice commanded an answer and to Hermione's horror she heard herself answering.

"It's hard for me to control my feelings because all of my life I've kept all of my feelings inside. And when my feelings started to overwhelm me I was too ashamed and scared to let them out. This is my way of letting out all of my fears, my anger, my sadness, my worthlessness, and everything else that I've kept inside."

_You feel it  
You feel alone  
Yet you're surrounded_

Hermione was having a hard time keeping in her tears. She hated herself for telling him, Malfoy of all people, but was relieved to have at least told someone. Hermione raised her eyes from the window, where she had been looking while she was telling him, and looked at his face. She found herself looking at a completely blank face and that angered her more than anything. She had just opened herself up and made herself vulnerable and all he could do was just stare. 

_You feel pain  
Pain from many years  
Years filled with living_

They stayed like that for a while when finally Malfoy walked over to her and kneeled down by her side. He gently pulled up her robe so that he could see her leg. Hermione was too startled to do anything about it. What Malfoy saw made his eyes go ever so slightly wider, there were scars and fresh cuts all up her leg. It was a horrible sight, there was blood smeared all over from when she had pulled down her robe to hide it from him.

He raised his eyes to hers, "how many are there?" Malfoy was more than surprised to see that she showed him her other leg which was just as bad as the first. Hermione also pulled up her sleeves and there where scars all up both of her arms.

_Living in torture  
Torture that you feel you deserve  
Deserve yet you feel violated._

"God. Granger this is serious. You can't keep doing this to yourself, it's not right."

"I know but I can't, now that I've started I can't seem to stop. Now whenever I feel an extreme emotion I have to, it's like a calling that I can't ignore. I've tried truly I have but I can't, I just can't." A tear slipped past their barricade and ran down her cheek, she felt disgusted with herself for crying. Hermione hurriedly wiped it away, and blinked back the rest of them.

_You feel sadness  
Sadness that is unnecessary  
Yet is in every way._

"Granger listen to me," he pulled her face towards his and spoke while looking directly into her eyes, "I'll help you, we can get help for you."

Hermione shook her head, "No, they'll send me to a white room and I don't want that I can do it on my own."

"Oh like you're doing now? You just said that you couldn't help it, so how are you going to stop if you have to do it?" Malfoy's voice was rising and Hermione shrank away from him.

_You feel undeserving  
Undeserving of everything you have  
But yet you feel you deserve it all_

"I just wasn't trying hard enough that's all, but now I won't do it ever again I promise!" She was almost pleading with him.

"Fine we won't get help but I'm making sure that you don't do this ever again. There are other ways to let your feelings out. You shouldn't feel ashamed of what you feel and you need to let them out." He had a calmer voice now, almost like he was trying to soothe her.

"Why are you helping me?" This question had been plaguing her mind for some time now, and she had to ask.

_You feel emotions  
Emotions that tear  
They tear you up_

"Because no one should feel that they have to do this to themselves no matter how much of a know-it-all they are. Now come on let's get you out of here, and don't you ever hurt yourself again."

"Yes mother," Hermione joked and put a small smile on her face, and Malfoy couldn't help but smirk at her.

As she stood up there was a clank noise that caught both of their attentions. They looked down and saw Hermione's blade lying innocently on the floor. Hermione felt a blush come on her cheeks as she bent down to pick it up, but Malfoy stopped her.

"I'll get that, and you better be giving me every single one that you have before you go to bed tonight. Do you understand me young lady?"

"Loud and clear."

_Yet you keep them inside  
Scared for what might happen  
What might happen  
When they're let loose._

**A.N.- I know that this is major ooc but hey it's my story, also feel free to tell me my mistakes, although i did check for spelling and grammer i might have missed something. If you thought that this was a sick story well i'm sorry but it's what happens i would know and it's very hard to getover but it is possible, i just got over it and it's hard for a person to stop after they have done it for a while(sounds like drugs don't it). Anyway Review please i would be very happy if i get reviews and i doesn't matter if they're good or not....JUST REVIEW!!! **

**Thank you for your time.**


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